What are the potential effects of global warming in terms of climate change and how they can be arrested?
There is a greenhouse gases layer in the atmosphere which traps outgoing infrared radiation in the Earth. It is good because it keeps the Earth warm. However, the greenhouse gases have increased dramatically because of human activities. This makes the layer becomes thicker and more radiation is trapped in the atmosphere. (Al Gore 2007) This phenomenon is called global warming. Generally, global warming refers to an increase in the average global temperature due to the increase in greenhouse gases in the atmosphere. There are many potential consequences of global warming in terms of climate change and they should be tackled with prompt action as soon as possible.
Global warming which leads to climate change causes the sea level to rise. Since the middle of 19th century, sea level has been raised, mainly due to the human-induced climate change. During the 20th century, sea level rose about 15 to 20 centimeters each year. In fact, Greenland is now in melting process. According to a scientific advisor, Tony Blair, if the melting process of Greenland continues, the map of the world has to be redrawn. The low altitude countries such as Florida, San Francisco, Netherlands, Beijing, Shanghai, Calcutta and Bangladesh will sink into underwater. As a result, hundred million or more people will suffer. (Al Gore 2007)
Besides, the extinction of the animals is also one of the potential effects of global warming in terms of climate change. Arctic is a country which affected by climate change significantly. As the temperature of Arctic rises rapidly, the summer ice disappears gradually. Polar bears which depend on sea ice for hunting will be unable to survive in the future. Furthermore, the global warming will affect the growth of plants. Undoubtedly, it decreases the number of migratory birds flying to the Arctic every summer to breed and nest because some breeding habitats have been vanished. (Chris Woodford 2006)
Therefore, global warming must be solved in order to save the Earth from being damaged continuously. As the research shows that greenhouse gases especially carbon dioxide which mainly spewed by the factories and vehicles have caused temperatures to rise between 0.6°C and 0.9°C over the past century (Holli Riebeek 2007), a very effective way to solve the problem is to reduce the emissions of carbon dioxide. To do that, we can use energy efficiency appliances. For example, we can replace the incandescent lamps with fluorescent lamps. We can bicycle, walk, or take bus instead of using personal car. According to Al Gore An Inconvenient Truth A Global Warming, the 2007 film directed by Davis Guggenheim, if we all use more energy efficient appliances, we can reduce the carbon dioxide emission to the level achieved in year 1970.
Moreover, it is ridiculous to compare our planet with economy. If we do not have planet, we can do nothing. If we do the right thing, then we can create a lot of wealth and jobs which can lead to economic growth. (Al Gore 2007) Therefore, the world’s governments should participate in Kyoto Protocol which aimed at fighting global warming. According to the Stern Report, the cost of solving this problem will be greater tomorrow so it is important to tackle climate change immediately. Stern also claims that it only cost one percent of GDP (Gross Domestic Product) which is 20 times less if we deal with the effects later. (Chris Woodford 2006)
In conclusion, global warming in terms of climate change brings many problems to the Earth such as the rise of the sea level and the extinction of animals. It is a very serious issue and we, as human beings, should take actions to tackle this problem expeditiously. Reducing the emission of carbon dioxide is a good way. As the saying goes, “Prevention is better than cure”, it would be better if we can do something to prevent the global warming from getting worse.
1.Is there a clear introductory sentence that introduces the subject matter and the controlling idea? What do you suggest for improvement if the introductory sentence is not clear?
ReplyDeleteThe introductory sentence is good and it gives the readers a clear idea about the topic of the essay, which is global warming. By describing the process of global warming, readers can have a better picture about it. Besides, the definition of global warming is also provided in the essay, making the whole passage even more in detail. Good work.
2. Is there a thesis statement given as the last sentence of the introductory paragraph? Is it clear and connected to all the topic sentences of the body paragraphs?
Yes, there is thesis statement at the last sentence of the introductory paragraph. It is clear and properly connected to the topic sentences.
3. Do the paragraphs have sufficient supporting details and examples? How can the organization be improved?
Yes, the body paragraphs have sufficient details and examples which support the topic sentences well. Statistical and scientific data are given and explained well. The organization of the essay is well done as the main ideas are distributed evenly and arranged in proper way.
4. Are there any paragraphs which are not supported well?
No. All paragraphs are well supported with evidences, facts and research data.
5. Are there any sentences or sections that are not clear? If so, how can they be improved?
Yes, I think there are some sentences that are not very clear. Firstly, the third sentence in the introductory paragraph, “…the greenhouse gases have…” should be put as “…the level/concentration of greenhouse gases….” Besides, the writer may consider changing the first topic sentence of the first body paragraph as it sounds complicated. I think there is no need to mention climate change again in the topic sentence because you have already stated in introduction. So, I would rather suggest you to change the sentence. A suggestion would be “One of the potential impacts of global warming is the rising of sea level”.
6. Does the conclusion summarize all the main points given in the essay or restate the thesis statement? Is it clear? If not, how can the writer improve this part?
Yes, the conclusion does summarize all the main points given in the essay and it is clear. So far, I don’t think it needs any improvement.
7. Does the writer cite the sources adequately and appropriately? Note any incorrect citation.
Yes, the writer has done a good job in citation. There is no incorrect citation.
8. Are there any apparent grammatical or spelling mistakes?
Yes, the last sentence of the introductory paragraph has grammatical mistake. The word “prompt action” should be written as “prompt actions”.
9. Does the writer comprehensively cover appropriate materials available from the standard sources? If no, what is missing?
Not really. The writer has missed out one important potential effect of global warming, which is the erratic weather. I think the writer may consider adding the point into the essay. However, I think that is not a big problem as the writer has already mentioned two potential effects in the essay.
10. Additional comments:
Overall, the essay is well-organized and relevant to the topic. It is easy to understand.